Of Masks and Memories
by WordSPark37
Summary: The darkest day cannot withstand the light that comes from moments shared with those you love. BBxRae Short Story. Update on DayDreams in AN


_A/N: Yes, I'm still around. For those of you who are wondering whatever happened to DayDreams can skip ahead to the Author's Note at the end. Don't worry, it's not bad news. However, I do hope you'll give this story a chance as well. It's really just a one-shot I haven't finished writing yet, and it'll only have one more chapter after this one. Still, I think it's some of my best work. Hope you guys enjoy it! Big shout out to **Mandirrr** for being quite possibly the best Beta Reader I've ever had the pleasure of working with! Enjoy the story!_

* * *

"He snapped at me!"

"Raven."

"Who does he think he is, snapping at _me_?!"

"Raven..."

"I should've thrown him off the roof!"

"Isn't that a bit..."

"Of all the immature... dim-witted... frustrating... jerk!"

The bedside table, along with all of its contents, flew halfway across the room, scattering most of Cyborg's belongings. His alarm clock exploded, giving off one last, vengeful wail before falling silent at his feet. Fortunately, she didn't aim for any more of the lights that time. The room had faded considerably when she'd burst in and taken out half of the lights with her powers. He'd almost lost his head, literally. As the conversation started, she had started to calm down, although every now and then her chakra would rebel, betraying her control and lashing out at any random object. Light fixtures had been a favorite so far.

Cyborg looked at her with half-lidded eye, offering her the best big brother look he could manage. Years of practice had paid off, as apparently, it worked. Raven huffed and turned away, lifting up her hood to hide her face. By now she'd shifted her hood a total of twenty-seven times - In the last fifteen minutes. Yes, he'd counted.

He shifted his weight on his worktable, creaking slightly. Having awakened in the middle of his sleep cycle, his circuits still weren't fully responsive, and a few of the servos in his lower half still weren't all that responsive. Cyborg shifted again, but quickly dismissed the notion that he'd ever be comfortable. Especially in such a situation.

"Raven, you know I love ya..."

Raven crossed her arms over her chest and gave a tiny, acknowledging grunt, shifting uncomfortably on her feet. Her nervous body language contrasted greatly against her indifferent expression. He smirked.

"And you know any other time I'd agree with you that that Green Bean is an immature, dim-witted frustrating jerk..."

She remained silent. He knew he had her attention. That was good. He didn't relish having to have this talk with her, but things had gone far enough, and one of them was going to end up getting hurt. And knowing the two of them, it would probably end up being BB. The one time he didn't deserve it.

"But this time, I really think you should just let it go."

Raven dropped her hood, a curious expression adorning her face. Cyborg had to admit, it was actually kind of endearing to see her so confused, so vulnerable. The usually stoic and sure-of-herself Raven, now looked like a lost little girl wondering why some boy had been mean to her. He just hated having to be the parental figure in the equation. He envied Robin, sleeping peacefully in his bed, with no emotionally-unstable teenage girls with superpowers at the foot of his bed. Then again, he thought, he couldn't be too sure that was a completely accurate assumption.

"I always let it go."

Cyborg frowned at her, crossing his arms.

"Usually..." Raven's eyes shifted to the side, away from his stern expression. "But he was _way_ out of line tonight. I don't know what I did to provoke him."

He rubbed his eyes, partly to rid himself of the headache building up, and partly to try and stay awake. 2:40 AM. Leave it to Beast Boy to piss Raven off at 2:40 AM. He couldn't help but groan. He really only saw one way out of it, but it might piss Beast Boy off even more. Still, if anyone could understand, or maybe even help him, it was Raven. Cyborg gave it a moment's thought, and aided by his internal CPU, he reached a conclusion.

"Alright, fine. You _really_ wanna know why BB went ballistic on you?"

Raven bobbed her head quickly, her lips taut. He could've sworn he heard her gulp. If he didn't know any better, he might have believed that she was nervous. He immediately cast that thought aside. It would have been a risk to his physical health.

"The truth is Rae, you aren't the only one haunted by demons."

"What do you mean?" Her voice was soft, any previous aggressiveness fading, replaced by a ton of innocent curiosity.

"BB's had it rough. I mean, you wouldn't think so, looking at the little guy, but... he's not always as happy as he looks."

Raven didn't react. She kept staring at him, he guessed, mostly in disbelief. But he could tell that beneath the stony facade, there was a bit of concern, as well as regret, deep inside of her.

"Sit down. It's kind of a long story."

Raven obeyed, quietly pulling his desk chair beneath her. She crossed her legs to match her arms, and stared at him expectantly. If only it were that easy.

"You know how BB lived in Africa, right?"

"He mentioned it once or twice, yeah."

"What he probably failed to mention, is why."

Silence. _Alright Cyborg,_he thought to himself, _story time. Whether you like it or not. BB's__gonna__chew me up tomorrow for sure. I just hope he doesn't go with the bear this time._

So, Cyborg began. He tried to tell it to her exactly the way Beast Boy had told it. Minus, of course, the constant bitter remarks, sarcastic puns, and incoherent sobs every few minutes. Still, he'd be a liar if he said he didn't well up himself, every now and then.

He told her, bit by bit, about his parents. About the monkey bite, and the infection. That disease, the one he'd called, _Sakutia_. For some reason, Cyborg had remembered the name, despite its exotic pronunciation. It wasn't easy to forget.

Then he told her about the flood. About his parents' deaths. How BB had tried but failed to save them, and ultimately, had to watch them drown before his very eyes. By this point, Cyborg could feel his left leg twitch occasionally. Something like robotic restless leg syndrome. Raven, however, was curled up in a ball in his office chair. Her face was just as expressionless as ever, but she'd left her hood down, and he could see her eyes glimmering, tears threatening to ruin her emotionless façade.

Forcefully rubbing the welling tears out of his eye, he braved on, telling of Beast Boy's kidnapping, how he'd been used by thieves for their own dastardly deeds. And when they'd died, how he'd been placed under the custody of a greedy, selfish man. Some dude named Galtry, if he remembered correctly. And finally, the doom patrol.

BB's history with the Doom Patrol was complicated, and he hadn't gone into much detail, so Cyborg summarized it for Raven. It wasn't any better. It had been tough for poor Beast Boy; the only person he could relate to had been Rita; the closest to a mother he'd had since Africa. And when he left the team, it had been like he'd ripped out a part of himself. Or so he'd told Cyborg. Still, he didn't doubt it. Every time he talked about the Doom Patrol, Cyborg would notice a twitch, or a slurred word, like he was swallowing back some pent up emotion. At times, he thought it was grief. Other times, he thought it was something more like rage.

"And then he met us. The little dude's constantly joking around, hiding his pain. He said it was so he didn't have to talk about it. I think he just doesn't want us to worry about him..."

Raven sat absolutely still. Her head rested on her knees, and arms wrapped around her pale legs. She no longer stared at him, but rather, gazed off into the distance, deep in thought. Cyborg knew it was a lot to take in. It hadn't been easy for him either. He'd had to reboot a couple times before he could even begin to process the information the first time Beast Boy had told him.

Still, he'd seemed relieved to have gotten it off his chest back then. So maybe having someone else to talk to about it would help him. For some reason, though, Cyborg seriously doubted that Beast Boy would see it his way. He'd be better off avoiding the green changeling for a good, long while.

Fortunately, much to Cyborg's relief, sleep was beginning to set back into his circuits. He hopped off of the work table, and began plugging his battery cell back into his charger. He froze when he heard Raven's monotonous voice break the silence.

"I still don't understand what his past has to do with his behavior tonight."

Cyborg placed his hands on the table, supporting his weight. He was glad he didn't have to face Raven as he told her. It was hard enough to say as it was.

"Tonight is the night of the flood, ten years ago."

"..."

"Tonight is the night his parents died."

* * *

The water seemed to glaze over, finding peace as he stared at the wobbling reflection of the moon on the surface. It was in essence a perfect metaphor for how he felt most days. On the surface, the ocean at times appeared calm, smooth, and even enjoyable. It called to you, to swim and splash, and relish in it. Yet underneath the first thin layer, malicious currents worked their own way, creating a turmoil of dangers and pains.

Ugh, it was just what he needed, to get poetic now of all times. He grabbed a flat, polished rock from beside him and tossed it over the rippled water, managing two full skips before it sank to the sandy bottom.

Beast Boy rested his elbows on his knees, and his chin on his hands, sighing in a perfect example of self-pity. All he needed was a mirror, and his dismal metaphor would be complete.

It always turned out to be the worst day of the year, but somehow, this year, it had managed to turn out even worse. It was hard to crack jokes or pull pranks, or even smile. Every year, something managed to go wrong. It usually stemmed out from his closest friends realizing his odd behavior, and just went downhill from there. He'd thought that nothing would top last year's anniversary. He'd been so down and out during the fight with Plasmus that they had all ended up sore, beaten, and slimed. It was only thanks to Raven that they even managed to make it out of there before the slimy evildoer seriously hurt them.

"Damn it, Raven..."

He'd never meant to sound so harsh. But he had to. He didn't want her to realize that he'd been crying, and if she had heard his voice crack...

It wasn't her fault. She had only been trying to find out what was wrong with him. She had been selflessly offering her help, and he had snapped at her. It was heart wrenching. The thing he wanted most was for Raven to hold him and comfort him, just to be with him until the night ended. Just so he didn't feel so alone.

"Now she's probably so pissed she won't even talk to me for another year..."

He buried his face in his calloused hands, trying to grate away all the sorrow in his head. It wasn't helping his headache much, but something told him that nothing really would. He sat there and simply listened to the sound of the waves, trying not to think. Not to remember. Not to feel.

Just as he was almost completely soaked up in self-pity, his ears perked up as he detected a faint noise from behind. Slowly, but steadily, the noise grew closer, and he soon identified it as footsteps.

_Damn,_he thought_, don't let them see me! Please let them keep walking!_

He knew it was hopeless. It was probably around three-thirty in the morning by then, and he knew none of his teammates tended to sleepwalk outside the tower. Whoever was walking around was bound to be looking for him. And quite frankly, he stood out like a green kid sitting on some rocks. He almost laughed at the literal irony.

The footsteps came ever closer, and as soon as they hit the rocks, becoming unsteady as they navigated the uneven terrain, he smelled her.

_Oh god, why did it have to be her? AGAIN?_

He caught the scent as a bitter ocean breeze swept past him and back towards the empty horizon. It smelled like candle smoke and incense. Like old books and tea. A hint of a Jasmine undertone, and rain. She always smelled like rain. And this time, he caught another, unfriendly, salty smell. Tears.

He'd made her cry. As if he didn't have enough on his mind, and enough weighing his heart down, he now had the guilt of making the strongest girl he'd ever met _cry_. It was disturbing how much it was tearing him apart, but part of him wanted to just jump into the waves and join his parents at the murky bottom.

The footsteps stopped suddenly, when he realized they must have been less than a meter away. He could hear her breath now, short and ragged. She'd been crying recently. It just surprised him that the tower hadn't blown up yet. He couldn't turn around and look at her. He knew he'd crack if he saw her face. He'd break down and start bawling, he had no doubt about it. Before she could utter a word, he took a deep breath, and spoke, his eyes never leaving the darkly waters below.

"I'm sorry."

* * *

She froze. Had she heard right? How did he even know it was her? Her head was already a jumbled mess, trying to clear up the emotional chaos within. And Beast Boy somehow managed to mix it up even more.

She'd gone into her room for a while to try and meditate, think things through, try and wrap her head around everything that Cyborg had told her about their friend. But she hadn't been able to think clearly. Her emotions were overwhelming her. Guilt. Sadness. Pity. Anger. She didn't know who she was angry with, or why, but she felt anger more than any others. And she still didn't understand why.

Maybe she was angry at the world, for having been so cruel to someone who didn't deserve it. She could even relate on that level. But that just didn't seem right. She thought that maybe she was angry at him for keeping everyone in the dark, for lying every single day and masking his true self from his own friends. And most of all, for being ignorant enough to try and carry his burden by himself

But she knew that her anger was aimed solely at one person. And it was herself. She was furious at herself for not seeing it before. What good was being an empath if you couldn't tell your friend was in pain? True, he had always managed to hide it well enough, but she had never even really bothered to find out. She hadn't even asked him about his life! She realized how selfish she'd been all these years. He'd been pestering her since day one, trying to get her to smile or laugh at one of his jokes. When all this time, it should have been the other way around.

And she'd always answered with cold indifference, or some stinging sarcastic quip. He'd been everything she should have been to him, without even worrying about himself. He'd been a friend. And now she felt as though she'd been the enemy.

"Why?" she asked.

She saw him tense up, his shoulders tensing just a bit, but he still refused to turn around. To face her. She wanted to see his face, to see him smile. But now she was worried that it might be something she'd never see again.

"For snapping at you earlier... I wasn't myself. It's, kinda been a rough day..."

"No, I meant why are you apologizing?"

"Huh?"

He turned around, looking up with big, emerald-green eyes, sparkling with what she was certain were tears. Her heart dropped another couple of inches in her chest. She was fighting the tears herself, and now it was even harder to hold back her emotions.

He must have seen the look on her face. She couldn't hold her usual empty expression. Her emotions were overflowing, and her powers were slipping. She clenched her fists as black energy danced around her fingertips. It was taking all of her self-control to not blow up the entire beach.

"Why are you apologizing, when I'm the one who should be sorry?" She repeated, her voice wavering.

"Raven, wh..."

Before he could speak, she jumped forward and wrapped her arms around him, burying her face against his shoulder. She held him tight, trying to comfort him, as well as herself. She paid no mind to the several boulders now floating around them, encased in her magic. She just buried deeper against his shoulder, and did her best to stop the tears from soaking his uniform. It wasn't enough.

She felt him suddenly relax his body, and wrap his arms tightly around her. She gasped. His emotions began to permeate her own. Sorrow, grief, loneliness. But behind the bitter depression, she could sense a warm glow. Relief, comfort, and even a dash of hope. She smiled, but it wasn't hers. She smiled for everything she felt coming from her friend. The friend who held her just as tight as she held him. The friend she'd never been. But maybe it wasn't too late.

A roaring crash brought them out of their intimate moment, as they jumped apart just in time to see several giant boulders crash back down on the beach, splitting as they hit the rocky shore. She felt the blood rushing to her cheeks, and turned away, before Beast Boy could see her. It wasn't enough that she was crying, she had to blush too.

"Hey..."

His voice made her forget any and all concerns. She turned to see an almost mirror image of her own expression. His eyes were red, as though he'd been rubbing them most of the night. Thin, dark green lines highlighted the paths his tears had taken across his face, and a steadily-rising blush covered his cheeks, turning him almost maroon. His smile, however, was the only thing that mattered. It wasn't his usual, face-breaking, glow-in-the-dark smile. But it was a small, sincere, fang-adorned grin. And for some reason, it seemed more real than any other smile he'd given her. Save, perhaps, on one or two occasions.

"Thanks, Rae..." Beast Boy said.

She sniffled, fighting a losing battle against her runny nose, and despite everything she'd felt up until then, she smiled. It was small, but sincere, just like his. It was a smile that belonged to them, and that only they understood. It was a smile that went beyond their masks, like they themselves could never do.

They quickly broke eye contact, both suddenly very aware of themselves, and shuffled their feet in embarrassment, looking every which way but forward. They stood in their uncomfortable silence out on the rocky shore of their island for a few minutes, until Beast Boy once again broke the silence.

"Um, I thought... I thought you were mad at me. You know, for..."

Raven looked at Beast Boy, seeing guilt and regret written clear across his face. She gulped. How would she explain why she changed her mind? And more importantly, how would he take it that she now knew about, well, him?

"I wasn't mad." She answered in a quiet voice. It came out almost inaudible.

"You weren't?" Beast Boy said, surprised.

"No. I was furious."

"Oh..."

Beast Boy rubbed the back of his head, looking incredibly pitiful; his ears automatically folding downwards. She smiled, sensing his discomfort. It made it all just a tad bit easier.

"I was furious because all I wanted to know was what was wrong with you. I just wanted to help."

"I know. I shouldn't have said..."

"So I went and talked with Cyborg."

He seemed shocked at first, but soon enough started to chuckle. Now it was her turn to be caught off-guard. _Uh-oh._

"Wa-wait a second, you woke up Tin Head? At two in the morning? I bet he was pissed! Oh, that's priceless! Man, am I gonna be in trouble tommor..."

That's when it clicked. She knew he was slow, but she had been hoping that he wouldn't realize it at all. But the way his face transformed, she had no doubt about it. He had it figured out. And he didn't look too thrilled.

* * *

"Raven..."

He watched as her expression went from concerned, to afraid. Her eyes widened just the slightest, and her eyebrows raised. He didn't want to hurt her. He wasn't even mad at her. But if his suspicions were right, then she knew. And he had been hiding everything for a reason.

"What did Cyborg tell you?"

"Beast Boy, wait, I..."

"What did he tell you?!" He almost yelled at her.

Raven flinched at his sudden rage, taking a step back, but he didn't notice. He was blinded by his own seething anger. He'd confided in his best friend just so that he could have someone to talk to. It wasn't supposed to be so that he could spread the news. He'd avoided having to speak of his past for simple reasons. One, he didn't want to be constantly reminded of it. And two, he didn't want their pity. He'd had enough pity already.

And now Raven knew. It was obvious. Why else would she come back down to find him, to talk to him. To _hug_ him? She would never have hugged him after their previous bickering. The only explanation that made sense, was the one he feared most. She'd come back to him out of pity. Sympathy. She felt sorry for him. And he didn't want that.

Raven lifted up her hood, the moonlight casting most of her face into shadow, and composed herself. She stood straight, facing him squarely, shoulder to shoulder, and looked up. He was glad that at least now he was actually taller than she was, even if it was only a few inches.

As she looked up, the light flickered across her amethyst eyes, but once more, they were empty, void of all emotion. She'd gone back inside her shell.

"Cyborg told me the truth. He told me everything you should have told me... told us, sooner."

"It was none of your business! He shouldn't have said anything! And you shouldn't have asked!"

His animal instincts warned him of impending doom, just like they did before a really bad storm. And his eyes confirmed it. Raven clenched her robe with her fists, eyes glowing white, and her impeccable complexion marred by anger. But it didn't faze him. He was no longer in control. The pain and anger had taken over, and he wouldn't back down.

He couldn't. Not from this fight.

"You selfish, empty-headed, stubborn fool!"

"Glad to see the old Raven is back!"

"Cyborg was just trying to help, just like I'm trying to help you now!"

"I never asked for your help!"

"Why are you so damn stubborn?! Why won't you let us help?! I thought we were your friends?!"

"Because I don't need my friends to have any more reasons to feel sorry for me!"

"Yes, I feel sorry for you! I'm sorry that you really believe you have to carry this yourself! I'm sorry you think your friends would think less of you for this! And I'm sorry you can't see how much your idiotic behavior is hurting the ones who love you most!"

Beast Boy froze. Every word she'd spoken had felt like a red-hot blade was plunged into his stomach. And every word was regrettably true. He felt the familiar sensation of sadness and despair grip him from within, and he felt his chest tighten and grow cold. There was no more anger. No more instinct. No more will to fight, or speak, or at that point, even breathe. She was right. He'd been trying to keep it all in so as not to hurt his friends. But by doing so, he'd made things even worse.

It was all his fault. He looked down at his hands, searching for some answer, some form of comfort, something to tell him that it wasn't like that. He found nothing. He closed his eyes, and felt himself shaking, tears writhing beneath his eyelids, some finding their way out unto the rocky shore.

"Raven, y..."

He never got to finish. His lips were met with a rather pleasant obstruction.

He opened his eyes to find Raven's face in front of his, eyes scrunched, lips pressed against his own, and that scent, that intoxicating scent, overwhelming his senses. And her lips. They tasted sweet, like morning dew and honey. He closed his eyes and parted his own lips, tasting her with unbridled pleasure. He was pretty sure he'd never lived through a moment like that, and knowing Raven, he probably wouldn't live for too long afterwards. But something deep inside of him told him he could finally die, and be at peace.

The moment lasted only a few seconds, but to Beast Boy, it felt as though time itself had stopped. And maybe it had. But he couldn't care less. He was in heaven, and for those few seconds, every thought in his head, good, bad, or just plain in between, was replaced by Raven. And he wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

When they finally broke for air, he stepped back, still stunned and trying to process just what had happened. But by the time he came to his senses, and looked back towards Raven, he saw her silhouette melting into the rock below, and phasing away from him.

Still trying to wrap his head around everything that had happened in the last five minutes, one word seemed to bounce around permanently in his head.

_Whoa..._

* * *

_A/N: Well, there you have it. I'm almost finished with the ending of this short story. As a matter of fact, it's technically finished already, but I'm not too convinced about the ending, so I'm going to rewrite it slightly over the course of the next couple of days, and hopefully update within a week! _

_Alright, now for those of you solely interested (or also interested) in DayDreams. First of all, I am terribly sorry for not updating. Why haven't I updated? Life, for the most part, keeps interfering. But that's just an excuse. Mainly, it's because I'm terribly, hopelessly stuck with a horrible case of writer's block. I haven't given up, and I've recently sought fresh help, so hopefully, I'll be able to make it past this roadblock, and continue with my usual updating routine. No promises though. In any case, I just wanted to assure you that I will not give up on the story, I will finish it, no matter how many decades it takes (just a joke, relax), and I want you all to know I am extremely grateful for all your reviews, favorites, and follows! So thank you! See you soon in Chapter 6!_


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